it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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