we have officially lost it.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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