the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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