A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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