she told me i tasted like america
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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