We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize