She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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