I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize