I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize