You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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