It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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