wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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