we have officially lost it.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
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My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
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There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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