good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize