Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize