I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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