I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
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considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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