Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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