I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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