I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
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Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
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Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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