his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
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Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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