"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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