I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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