You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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