This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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