you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My life is pants optional.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize