well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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