I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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