ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My liver just had a heart attack.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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