I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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