where am i from again
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize