oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize