I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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