pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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