are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize