she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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