people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
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let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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