First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize