I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
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I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
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You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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