38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize