I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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