I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I deserve this hangover.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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