So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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