Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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