she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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