so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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