Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize