can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize