I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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