did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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