Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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